Yuki's With Who?
by Bleeding Kunai
Summary: Shuichi watches the Muppets before he goes to bed and has an interesting dream about his beloved Yuki. YukixKermit. YukixShuichi. HiroxSuguru. -OOC; yaoi; crack humor; swearing- Entire list of warnings INSIDE .


**NOTE:** THIS IS YAOI!!!! If anyone flames about it, other than my horrendous grammar and spelling, well, teehee, I won't be held accountable for what I do. 

**Author's Note:** This came to me in a dream when I was still in 8th grade. The dream was hilarious, really, and the thought of Yuki/Kermit is just weirdly and disgustingly funny. I wrote this in a three-year time period, because I can. So the writing gets different throughout it… Maybe, I think… Crap.

**Disclaimer: **Gravitation is owned by Maki Murakami and… I don't care who owns the Muppets, I just don't own them.

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**Genre:** _Humor/Romance_

**Rating: **_M_

**Summary: **_An "I'm Not Dead" Story. Shuichi watches the Muppets before he goes to bed and has an interesting dream about his beloved Yuki. YukixKermit. YukixShuichi (Warnings INSIDE)._

**Pairings: **_Yuki/Kermit (THERE'S A SCENE! But it's mega-brief) and Yuki/Shuichi, Hints at Hiro/Suguru _

**Warnings: **_Rated for: _Random, crack humor, MAJOR OOCness, language, sexual themes with a talking, walking frog puppet (O.O), Shuichi's dream, hints of yaoi and yaoi, hints of phone sex, and crappy writing.

**Dream sequence will be told when it starts and when it ends; however, it will be in regular text.**

_'Thoughts'_

"Talking"

_**READ ON!**_

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Yuki's With Who!?

Shuichi flipped through the channels on "his" television. Boredom shot through him as he sprawled out on the couch. Yuki had thrown him out of the room because he was "working" on his new novel and felt that the younger was "disrupting him of his writer's vibe". Shuichi set the remote down when he saw an odd, yet interesting looking thing on the screen.

It seemed that a Muppet movie was playing on one of the movie teenager cocked one of his eyebrows up and stared at the TV. By the time it finished, Shuichi rubbed his eyes, turned the TV off, and fell asleep on the couch.

************************ _DREAM… OMFG! _************************

Shuichi walked into the apartment complex that he and his boyfriend-slash-lover, Yuki, shared. Hoping the get some, after a long day at NG in the recording studio, he was shocked to find his possessions in the hallway outside the door. Wondering what he did wrong, he did what he knew how to do best… Panic. Shuichi burst down the door only to find…

SOME HIDIOUS GREEN FROG HANGING ALL OVER **HIS** YUKI!!!!

"Oh. My. GOD! Y-Yuki!?" the pink-haired singer wailed, "What is this, Yuki!? YU~KI~!!"

Yuki parted his lips with that ugly green… thing and threw a coaster at Shuichi's head. He was obviously annoyed. "Brat, meet my _new_ boyfriend, Kermit." Shuichi stopped crying and his eyes widened."N-New boyfriend? Y-Yuki? What are you saying?" the singer interrogated in a confused fashion, painfully stepping closer."I'm saying I've found a new lover." Yuki simply replied. Hearing this, this, this Kermit-thing rubbed his plushed green hands over Yuki's chest; a moan erupted through his smirked lips. Shuichi growled, '_Damn it! Do you know how many times _I've_ tried doing that to him…? And getting a response in the process? That evil toad_ _!'_

"H-How can you choose this, this _thing_ as your new lover. And o-over _ME _for Sakuma Ryuichi'ssakes!" Shuichi managed to stutter out, disgust rolled off his tongue along with it. Hearing the "supposed insult", Kermit buried his head in Yuki's chest and began to sob uncontrollably (Kermit is somewhat…Emotional). The writer's face contorted into an angry one. Oh, shit, he was pissed off at him… Very pissed off.

Wrapping an arm around Kermit's waist, Yuki stoop up, grabbed the 1,000-page dictionary that happened to be on the table, and threw it at Shuichi's head, all while yelling, "God damn it, Brat!! I don't go around insulting your lovers and what not! So don't go around insulting _mine_!!"

Shuichi was, well, confused. "Uh…" _'Isn't… Wasn't he my lover though…? What the hell?'_ The atrocious green frog smirked at the 19 year old's confusion. Kermit pulled on Yuki's arm gently, pulling him down into a lip-lock.

"Bwuah?" Now the poor kid was even more confused. Questions running through his head like "What the hell is up with this thing?" and "Where the fuck did Yuki pick this thing up?" and "Why a frog?" Oh, yes, he was definitely confused.

Shuichi's jaw dropped, fell to his knees, and began to ponder the events that happened in the last… Five minutes.

"What," the evil-blond sneered, "groveling for me to take you back?" Shuichi's head popped up, "Huh?" Clearly… He wasn't listening. Yuki glared at Shuichi's lost expression and whispered something into Kermit's ear. It must've been something… Erotic, because the dreadful thing's invisible-nose began to bleed and he skipped into the bedroom, slamming the door afterwards.

Yuki ran his fingers through his hair and sighed angrily before getting down to Shuichi's level. "Look, Brat. It's over between us," he explained sullenly, "I found someone else. You aren't wanted here anymore, so, remove your stuff from out in front of my door before I call the janitors to do so and leave."

"But, but Yuki," Shuichi whined."No buts! Get your things and leave… I have things to… Tend to." he said, looking at his bedroom door.

Shuichi frowned and slowly sauntered towards the door. He agonizingly slowly reached towards the door handle; Yuki tapped his foot impatiently. _'Argh! That damned brat is too slow! Kermmy is probably asleep by now.'_ The novelist stomped open to the door, pushed the singer out of the way, kicked the door open, and pushed the other out. "There! Now _leave_!"

Shuichi, for some miraculous reason, was able to bundle his possessions in his arms and walk slowly down the hallway.

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Shuichi gently placed his things on the floor before banging loudly on Hiro's door… No answer. "HI~RO~! Open this fucking door!" the singer wailed, now kicking at the bottom of the currently abused door. As he was screaming coherent insults -and still kicking at the door- it opened and Shuichi, not noticing of course, kicked Hiro in the shin. "Ow, fuck, Shuichi…" the guitarist mumbled tiredly, "What'd ya want?"

Shuichi's face twitched, "Yuki is getting nasty with some frog now."

Horror and disgust flashed against Hiro's face, "Ah…"

"So, can I… Uhm, stay here?"

Hiro moved to the side and motioned for Shuichi to come in. The singer gathered up his things and made his way into the apartment. "Uhm, so," Hiro asked awkwardly as he threw a can of beer towards Shuichi, "Where did Yuki-san mean his current?" Shuichi shrugged and fell back onto the couch.

The shorter of the two opened the can and chugged it quickly before yawning, "Ne, Hiro, I'm going to… Sleep." The red-head nodded slowly before making his way into his own room.

Shuichi tossed and turned on the familiar but unfamiliar couch. Images of Yuki pounding that green, plushy, yet fragile body of another abnormal species plagued his thoughts. He groaned and buried his head in couch cushion. Shuichi's shoulders fell as he sat up and held his head. His eyes flashed and glazed over as he fell to the floor screaming and foaming at the mouth.

Hiro rushed out of the room with his semi-opened cell phone in hand, pants unbuttoned and sagging, and pale chest glistening. "Shu…"Shuichi twitched, grasping his head.

Hiro cautiously stepped closer to the shorter. "Shu."Shuichi experience another violent looked down at the phone in his hand and saw that dreaded message: "Call Ended 1:40:02". His eyebrow twitched frantically before body slamming the teen farther into the comfortable carpet.

"DAMN YOU, SHUICHI!"

The movement stopped and Shuichi blinked, "Huh?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you on me?" Shuichi's eyes scanned Hiro's body, "Oh, I see." He grinned.

"What? No, I love you and all, but," the guitarist's eyes flashed, "my dick belongs to Suguru's asshole."

Shuichi laughed and shoved Hiro off.

"So…"

"So… Why were you yelling?"

"I had… A horrible image."

"Hm, tell me about it."

"Okay… It started out like this…"

_**HOLY SHIT! Shuchan's Thoughts.**_

_Yuki reached his hand out towards Kermit and caressed the felt skin. He sighed happily and nuzzled more into the hand. Yuki smiled softly, cupped Kermit's chin, and looked at him in the eyes. "So beautiful," he __muttered as he pulled him into a kiss. The human-frog's arms snaked over the other's shoulders and tightened as he felt Yuki move his knee in between his legs._

_Sensual electricity moved between the two as Yuki pushed Kermit towards the bedroom, his lips attacked the other's neck. "E-Eiri… Please. D-Don't." Kermit moaned. Yuki only smirked and ran his hands down his waist._

_**HOLY SHIT! Shuchan's Thoughts Ended.**_

"So, how was that bad? Where's the sex?" Hiro asked when Shuichi's story ended.

"Uhm, it just was!"

"The sex?"

"I… Forgot that part." Shuichi laughed nervously as he rubbed the back of his head.

Hiro glared at him, "Whatever, I'm going to bed," and with that, he walked back towards his room, but not before throwing the replicated Genie Lamp from _Aladdin _that Shuichi had given him for Christmas two years before meeting Yuki. The metal clunked against his head, knocking him out… Slightly.

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**Author's Notes: **So, I _was_ going to make this a one-shot, but I decided after 3 years of NOT updating, I'd post this and have you deliciously wonderful reviewers tell me whether or not to continue. Sorry if it looks weird, I keep going back and fixing it 'cause I'm not used to the new uploading this. Damn my three year delay!

**Review, please**.


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